life right now

What am I fighting for, what am I waiting for
A life that promises to be full of insults...
This is not the love I wanted
This is not the one I wanted
This is not the feeling I had...
This is not the feeling I deserve
This is not the life I dreamt….
That someone dear will threaten me
That someone near will abuse me
That a friend will manipulate
That my mate will not protect
That the love will be conditional
That sex will become a prize…
That the I need to buy love with self respect
And eventually be left with none…
That I will not be loved for what I am
That I will not be able to walk with pride
That I will have to change so much that I lose my real self
That I my successes will be shared but not my failures
That I will have to walk alone for my dreams…
That I have to cry alone…and no one will wipe my tears

Earlier love was simple…it was just
Feelings…to give and sense
There was nothing to prove..
Both loved to love….and there was no expectation
It was sharing of whtever there was..and between us there was plenty..
We were happy

Now its complicated…
Love got coloured with money, status, social acceptance,
Clothes, shape , colour ,
Now its how others feel about us not how we feel
Love is no longer a there …its a showcase for others
Pleasure is not in togetherness, but in how others see us
It has become commercial….and so it is no longer there
We want others to certify …..
Love s not there….the world spoilt it…
We let the world spoil it……
We were always running to be seen as better..
We were trying to find solution to others chaotic minds
We stopped enjoying our togetherness…
We stopped appreciating the feel of our hands
The stopped looking into each other
We stopped everything we started with
And today we have lost all….most imp the feeling that we started it


Somewhere up in the sky made me unique..
Then why do I need to change to something else..for someone else..
Why don’t I revolt, I can
Why don’t I move away, I can
Because …………..i don’t know..
May be one day I will quietly walk away…
But I know all this is not weakness..i am strong…
And SO I EXIST….

I may not shout, but I am very capable
By talent is based on sweat and not words
I may not be flashy everyday…but I am the best when I want to be
Because I am modest….because I like to be that way
Because I want to be approachable…
I know I am the king..but I don’t want to be dressed like one..
I want to be simple..humble…
Let someone mistake my simplicity, my substance for lack
I want to use my POWER for upliftment and not to create slaves
Because I want people to know me from how they felt with me and
Not what I pretended to be…
I am myself..I like myself